I am having an eruption

Photo is supposed to be public, and thus free for use. If this is not correct, I apologize.


I am so angry right now, much at myself for enabling and permitting certain ways of behaving, accepting the mantra "It is just the way I am" and not seeing it for what it is: a way to avoid making an effort to mature and grow as a person, or heavens forbid! use those dormant neurons. But my glass just got topped. At long last.
It scares me it has taken such a long time, where is my spine? Where is my self respect? Whould I be this spinless if the pain inflicted was done with intent?
I shrug things off, do not take them personal, it will get better, just a bad day.....And in many ways, that is what it is with most people, and so I did not see. Did not want to see?