And the sun came forth

I woke up this morning and liked myself. I have been searching for a why, but have not found any. That is very good. I do not need a why. I just like me.

oh dear.

And the beat goes on...

I had sort of decided that some topics were used up. Exam, nerves and Solitaire Spider being some of them. But here I sit again, the night before an exam and..shit. Why have I not studied more? One reason is that I am not one of those people that sleep 3hrs a day for a month, living in the library. I am one of those that fall asleep on top of the books and wake up a couple of hours later with groggy head, letters on my chin, drool mark in the book and a painful neck.
Not very promising for future 48 hrs guards I must say.

On a better note I am not lying in fetal position in the bath tube, thinking I am the toe-fungus of the world. But I cannot say I like myself much right now. Witch is FINE. One cannot please everybody right?

So I'll do the bloody thing, and cringe when bf and family asks with hope in their voices "How did it go?" I have tried to impose a rule of silence. Do not ask me how I am doing and do not ask how it went. It did not work very well. But I'll do it. I need the experience, and the stuff that I did not learn or don't remember, I'll know the next time. And I am Zen about that. Sort of.