Today is turning out to be a real bad day. Item number one; did not do fisica-exam and am trying to find out why not. I mean, I got to the gate of the faculty! then I just took a few steps to the right and left the campus all the while trying to convince myself that I should turn around...I am such a chicken-head sometimes.
item number two; I have deleted all the games from windows, and can no longer spend hours doing free cell. It is a good thing in the long run, but I like playing free-cell!
item number three; have another exam on monday so cannot relax my brain from the down-turn today.
So at this moment I have in my head, embarrasment (over behaving in the silly way I do), anger, sadness, headache coming on, and generally hating myself for not "getting on with it". I mean, I know what I need to do. I know what I want to do, so why is it so effing hard to just do it? Courage is so hard to find sometimes, and specially when my fears are tied up in something so silly as an exam.
Ah well, I will lash myself a bit more, in private and then I have the joy of telling A I fucked up today, before leaving for the library I do not really like to study for the next one.
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